“Disappointments are to the soul what the thunder-storm is to the air” Friedrich von Schiller

I skipped class.

No more can i go on like this. Dragging my feet to the four walls, white cubic room. A standard arrangement in every floor, every class. The face of all my classmates towers over me as i plop myself on to my chair. Heaving a sigh so heavy hoping an exhale would take all existing life away from my soul.

Suffocate me dry. Slit slit slit in every direction.

The day goes by, meeting, break, meeting, break, end. Nothing dissolves past my skull exterior. "Help me please i beg you" No one hears my cries. The ones that do can do so far as to console. I get criticised, judged. Who doesnt in a world like ours?

I dont look like them, i'm not any better in their terms. I am slow. Hence, i'm not cut out, i'm not intelligent. I am in simple terms a bimbo. Once who dresses up for class but heads echoes when you try knocking out formulas. People can be harsh.

"This is not for me" Then what is, i wonder. Will it be any different if i were to be where i want to be? I stare at the charcoal cement above me. A black canvas where dreams transpire. Am i where i should be?

Does hesitation from status quo mean I should feel contended with where i am, how i am?

"Girl, you need to sleep" But I am paranoid. There is so much running through my head. Don't you not understand this affects my future? You whom are satisfied of your position?

Its a black abyss in here. A black hole. A whirlwind of emptiness and a wet blanket. Absorb any sense of happiness and kill me. Or bring me to where i'm supposed to be.

______________________________

HAHAH I FAKE. Talk about emo? This emo enough huh?

I just realised, that i'm almost inseperable from my girls now. It was only a day when i couldnt go back with them and i already felt slightly uncomfortable and almost unable to part. I was mumbling about how awkward and sad i feel leaving them for my own plans.

HAHA i r so pathetic and lame sometimes.

J: Nic you're so slow its like if someone ever asks, 'Nicole would you marry me?', you'd go like,"......, huh i'm sorry what?"

What can i say? I'm a true pink patrick.
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Now playing: Lily Allen - Mr Blue Sky (new single)
via FoxyTunes

I've been waking up real early during the weekends, at least on my watch 7am is.
Aint it?


Jennifer's Body. Who the hell was the scriptwriter for that movie?

I understand now, by what it means to say,

That Home is where the heart is.

What or where is YOUR home?

I'll save my breath unless you ask. The truth will eventually surface.
Dont waste your time.
You have but no clue to how weary ive been, the last thing i want is to force a spark. Havent you heard? Finding myself has been the highlight of my life recently. Carving my ambition tops my to do list.

I've too much on my hands mister. I've sent out all the warnings. Its your decision to read them or be the fool.

OH SUDDEN PHRASE REMINISCE- " I can cross that off my non existent list"
__________________________

AIYA my reception as of late sucks, my line always get disconnected at the good parts.

Can i say, AAAHHH!!?!

Blushing at hellos. Thrill at the sight of. Taking everything that hits me in a stride. Skipping a heartbeat. Writing again, singing like crap again.

Chilling at the kafe's sofa and absorbing all the happiness and new beginnings that radiates between the inch of shoulders. Smiling and laughing to my hearts content at nostalgic videos and mini comedy series. Feeling like yourself again. Not giving shit to what people say. What could be better? I missed you Nic.

Thank you friends. Today, i recalled why i am who i am.

OMG HALLOWEEN YAY! TREAT OR TREAT?! no tricks.

I think up til now Munirah still think that my present was a joke. Girl, that really was your present. Sorry ah recession la. Dont be fooled, such a budget present carries much meaning towards our relationship okay.


I just wanted you to know that i can be your tissue. No, not to be used and disposed. However, if you wish then i've no qualms. I'll be there to wipe your tears, snot, booger, excess makeup, absorb oil and for other conveniences. Do you get the picture?

Tissue, a friend for extra comfort and care. Its pretty clear about being the one to wipe your tears. Whenever you're in need, in pain and in trouble, CALL ME, I'M THERE. Will do my best.

Snot/Booger,
sometimes we can be pretty messy relating to our personal problems and well, literally messy. I'll be the friend who cleans you up and make sure you're alright. Like how you've always checked up on me, imma check up on you and make sure you on the right track! & CLEAN.

Excess makeup??
You know, we're not a l w a y s ourselves. There are days we feel different. There are times we get carried away and forget ourselves. If need be., I'll be the friend who wipes all the fake that exists and remind you of you Our Moon.

Absorb oil and what not?
Simple theory Moonykins. You cry, we cry. You laugh, we laugh. You fall, we laugh harder.